Also use this same model for discussing behaviour you like instead of ‘I’m pleased with you’ or ‘I’m proud of you’, try ‘When you worked hard on that piece of work it left me feeling very pleased and I’m really looking forward to that behaviour continuing’. If someone pays you a compliment you’d them to be specific about what they like instead of saying ‘I like you’. It’s better to be more proactive and get involved earlier in the life of a problem and earlier in the journey of a student’s day. Preventing things from escalating into more serious and complex situations, including how we respond to violence in and around our schools, and beyond. It is my aim to be practising in the top right box of the window - holding students and colleagues to high standards of behaviour while at the same time providing the support and encouragement necessary for them to meet these expectations. By saying a student never behaves they will simply (and rightfully) argue about the one time they did behave and cut your argument in half.

When considering where we want to be, let us consider the above box which Mark Finnis first made me aware of with one change, replacing control with challenge.When we say Challenge, we mean things like setting limits, outlining boundaries, defining expectations and explaining consequences. Ensure you call out good behaviour before you highlight negative behaviour. Earlier, we talked about attention needing behaviour, and in truth everyone needs attention and would not want to be ignored. Therefore, if a student is behaving, highlight their positive behaviour. When highlighting their positive behaviour be specific so they know and the class know why you are pleased with them.

What is really important in all this questioning is try to avoid ‘why’ questions, as they often create blame ‘why did you do that?’ ‘why do you disrupt my lesson?’ ‘why are you late’ This quote - 'without relatedness, no work can occur' - is at the centre of Mark's writing. Let's now get on and try it. I think good things will happen! I am sure that few teachers would disagree that the relationships they have with their students matter, but I know that many feel they do not have the time to invest in them thanks to the stresses of our results-focused system, our crowded classrooms and our overcrowded curriculum. Four full or half day Leadership Sessions – facilitated by L30 (one every half term during the Spring and Summer Term 2023). With the possibility of two more during the Autumn Term 2023. Getting involved earlier in the life of a problem will also help. For children to feel able to talk, you need adults who are willing to listen. When we have adults who are unwilling to listen, we end up with children who are unwilling to talk.After working with restorative practice in the UK, I firmly believe it is an excellent approach to use in education and in life. Restorative practice is intended for teachers working in the UK, but it can be used in any country, as it will help you and your students develop and deal with situations.

If we are not careful, we put our focus on the content and forget to simply connect. Our students need connection as well as the important content. The connection creates the space to then be able to explore the content. Connections can happen by themselves, but wouldn’t you want them to happen intentionally? Every day, in lots of different ways, our students ask: do I matter to you, do you notice me, do I belong here? And, if we aren’t careful – because actions speak louder than words – the answer will be seen in the behaviours that play out. It is not always what we say or what we do, but how we do it and how students end up feeling. I have delivered training, seminars, workshops and keynote speeches locally, nationally and internationally. Including across the UK, Hungry, Finland, Holland, Spain, USA and Canada.

In a nutshell, it creates students who aren’t part of the audience, they are part of the cast. Or, as one school I work with puts it, not passengers but crew.